in hindsight

you know when you
repot a plant
and it doesn’t grow for awhile
all of it’s energy is directed beneath the surface
(of the dirt)
to establish a strong foundation
(of roots)
because the plant knows
stability is paramount to any
visible growth to come

well i feel like that
except i was not a healthy plant that simply
outgrew their previous pot
no, my leaves were browning along the edges
my roots were rotting below the dirt
and my only hope of survival was to
relocate

my roots, my foundation,
had to be pruned
as the things i relied on
for stability, for strength
were no longer succeeding at
keeping me upright

the loss of roots, even rotten ones,
left me weak and unsteady
my leaves began to fall
and the parts of me that remained alive
were fragile and bare

but day by day
my roots began to regrow
slowly reaching out
into their new environment
only to find a plethora of
nutrients, of space

this sounds so easy, so unconscious:
to leave the rot behind and
simply replace it
with healthy growth

but everyday, i fought
it was uncomfortable, you see
my old pot was the only thing i knew
the only thing i remembered

but i had no choice but to trust that
with enough time
enough sunlight
and someone to stop by and
water me every once in awhile,
i would not only survive,
but i would grow,
and maybe one day,
i would even bloom