in hindsight

over the past few months
ive watched winter turn to spring
a transition that never happens
fast enough, but is always
worth the wait

an annual occurrence,
however,
this year was different

these external changes i witnessed
in the world around me
were mirrored internally

pieces of myself
i had encased in ice
began to thaw

hopes dreams goals desires
long in hibernation
began emerging from
their cave

i started living!
no longer merely
trying to survive

and while everyone
around me is
awaiting the arrival of
summer

i am utterly
content
to rest as long as i can
in this state of
internal springtime

i realize this probably
makes little sense
so i will leave you with two poems that do…
and a video too!

(“happy” by donna ashworth)
“they say happiness is a choice,
but i think it’s like day and night.
we cannot be happy all of the time,
nor can we be continuously sad.
we must let them interchange,
like the sun and moon.
that’s the cycle you see.
and yet, they can exist together sometimes too,
a little strangely, a little awkwardly perhaps.
reminding us that life isn’t black and white,
that emotions are every colour.
and nothing is constant.
they say happiness is a choice,
but i think it’s peace that we can choose,
peace in the acceptance that life is everything.
and that’s okay.
a baseline of peace invites happiness to stay a little longer
and lets sadness come and go, as it must.
as it all must.”

(“invitation” by mary oliver)
“oh do you have time
to linger
for just a little while
out of your busy

and very important day
for the goldfinches
that have gathered
in a field of thistles

for a musical battle,
to see who can sing
the highest note,
or the lowest,

or the most expressive of mirth,
or the most tender?
their strong, blunt beaks
drink the air

as they strive
melodiously
not for your sake
and not for mine

and not for the sake of winning
but for sheer delight and gratitude-
believe us, they say,
it is a serious thing

just to be alive
on this fresh morning
in the broken world.
i beg of you,

do not walk by
without pausing
to attend to this
rather ridiculous performance.

it could mean something.
it could mean everything.
it could be what Rilke meant, when he wrote:
you must change your life.”